For those who don't know, Mercury Morris, the storied running back of the 1972 Miami Dolphins, has also become their main spokesman as of last year. Before I start, I hope Mercury doesn't mind it when I call him "Tick Pits," which I cleverly derived from "The Closest Planet to the Sun," or "TCPttS"--when enunciated, "Tick Pits." Voila, we have a nickname. Anyway, back to the main point.
Last year, Tick Pits openly trash-talked the then-undefeated New England Patriots, saying that the '72 Fish are alone in "Perfectville" (how clever), and that the Patriots tried to "bury" opponents because "they could." No shit, Sherlock. They're not burying teams because they can't, dumbass. And besides, what's the point of not burying opponents? If anything, teams should be thanking the '07 Patriots for beating them 56-2. It showed them how much they truly suck, and provided a starting point for the following practices. Tick Pits also stated that, even if the Patriots went 19-0, the Dolphins season (of 17-0, no less, and against ZERO playoff teams during the regular season), should be held in higher regard. However, once the Patriots hit 16-0, and again at 18-0, he changed his mind and decided that the Patriots were allowed to be talked about in the same sentence as his Flippers, and he would welcome them into the "neighborhood."
This year, with Kerry Collins and company at 10-0, Tick Pits seems to be a "fan" of these Titans. They "remind [him]" of his team, because nobody believes they will go undefeated, even after 10 games this season--whereas last year, people were crowning the Patriots at this point of the season.
The point of this isn't to complain about how much Tick Pits hates the Patriots, or how much more he likes the Titans--but to ask a simple question. Who the fuck cares about what Mercury Morris thinks about the currently undefeated teams? What makes him the official spokesperson for all things undefeated? Does he feel like his opinion is actually valued? At this point, people might be saying to themselves, "Hey timbo, ur a hippocrit cuz ur st8ting a opinion, and urs is prolly less good then mercury morrises." Wrong. I happen to know that my opinion doesn't matter, which is why I'm writing in a random blog rather than talking to ESPN. I don't act like I'm entitled to trash talk another team because said team is on the verge of going undefeated after I've sitting in my living room for 32 years since I retired at the age of 29. I also don't feel the need to try and prove my importance by blessing yet another team, which is also on the verge of going undefeated, with my fandom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I just don't see Kerry Collins or Albert Haynesworth coming home every Sunday and saying, "Well, we won, but it's all for nought if Mercury Morris isn't a fan. Going undefeated is just not the same without his approval." I guess I just don't understand why this guy feels the need to comment on these things.
Nobody gives a shit, Tick Pits. Nobody cared last year, and I have a feeling that everyone's feelings for you are strikingly similar after 365 days.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Who the fuck gets named Mercury?
Or in the case that he's like Pac-man Jones, who the fuck calls himself Mercury?
But yeah, I think one of the better parts of the Pats potential victory would have been this douchebag finally shutting up.
That's what I'm saying. Naming your kid "Mercury" is comparable to naming your kid either:
a. "Jupiter" or "Uranus"
or b. "Scion" or "Pontiac"
Who the hell does that?
I´m all for cool nicknames, but I do agree with Timbo that this guy needs to get a life.
The Titans aren´t going undefeated. They aren´t. Teams go 10-0... I mean they´re a good solid football team, but they´ll lose to somebody in some fluke game.
"Next time we want our team to go undefeated, please refrain from giving us your blessing, Mr. Morris."
- the Tennessee Titans*
*Wishful thinking.
Post a Comment