It's been a while...

I haven't contributed anything useful to this masterful blog in approximately 45 days. Do I have an excuse? Sure, but I don't have to answer to you. Just believe that I was busy and we can all move on.

My first post in 45 days will take the shape of a bullet list--things I think, things I know, how homosexual Sasha Vujacic really is, and other things of that nature. Without further ado, here is Tim's Sports List of Things He Thinks, Things he Knows, and How Homosexual Sasha Vujacic Really Is.

• Look--I love PJ Axelsson, but in order to get Patrice Bergeron back his pre-multiple-concussion self, PJ just needs to be removed from that line. Sure, PJ can make a penalty shot...but if I were to give him a nickname for his full speed game, it would be PJ "I swear the net was over there a second ago" Axelsson.

• I still can't figure out why it took an injury to Jameer Nelson for Jesus Shuttlesworth to make it into the All-Star game.

• Speaking of the NBA, have you even seen how flamboyant Sasha Vujacic acts? I mean, seriously. Get a real headband, dipshit.

• Congratulations, Lakers. You've beaten the Celtics in 2 meaningless regular season games in which our bench played twice as much as yours and KG fouled out. Nice job, really. The record still stands, however--2008 NBA Championships: Celtics: 1 Lakers: 0.

• Varitek is back with the Red Sox for one more year. Let's just hope this year is a little better for the Captain.

• I could honestly see Lars Anderson getting some playing time with the Big Club this year. Don't quote me on it, but I wouldn't be surprised.

• I don't know why I didn't see this before--remember how Kobe was charged with sexual assault on girl in Colorado? That girl? Sasha Vujacic. I knew there was a correlation between Kobe's case and the Eagle, Colorado Gay Pride Parade, but I didn't piece it together until now.

• When your parents and birthing doctors "mistakenly" think you're a girl when you're born, you know it's a bad sign. Sasha. Ha--good joke, Mr. and Mrs. Vujacic. Or was it?
  

• Of all the Bruins' young stars, the one they absolutely (say it like Barry Feinstein, it's hilarious) need to keep is David Krejci. You can't afford to let that kind of talent leave.

• I liked Jed Lowrie at first, but down the stretch, he lost a lot of his initial momentum. I still believe the Red Sox need to look somewhere for a shortstop...if they feel like they need a great shortstop, anyway.

• In all honesty, I'd be willing to bet my entire life savings that Sasha Vujacic is a vegan and TiVos Will & Grace. Nice "headband", doucher.

Short list, I know, but I hope I got my main theme across. Sasha Vujacic is a Grade A Pole Smoker.